hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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