Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
she peed on how many people?
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
