Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
