Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
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