Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
