I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
