She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
