You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
