bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
