Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
