At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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