people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
there is puke in my bra ... again
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
