hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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