Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
