He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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