I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Randomize
