called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
