I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
