I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
