; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
