my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Can Purell be used as lube?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
