Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
