so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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