Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Shame - the story of my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
