yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
