So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize