I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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