apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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