im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Farmville is her only friend.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
