Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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