i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
