R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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