are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
