how do flat chested girls get laid?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
