I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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