you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just had sex bonerless
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
