Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
