maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
