please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
