what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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