Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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