Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
