The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
