i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
