remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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