you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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