what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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