Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Holy shit dude........stairs
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
