Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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