I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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