My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
