Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
If its not for food we ain't going out.
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