this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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