butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
