If i come over, it means nothing
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
