her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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