The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
false alarm. still invincible.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
