So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize