this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
