Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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