ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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