so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
