exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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