Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
