woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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