just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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