I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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