i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
You ate ashes out of my bong
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
