so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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